Articles

What do you wear when an occasion calls for you to wear a bit less than a suit, but a lot more than casual attire?

An unconstructed (or unstructured) jacket or blazer is one answer to this question that will see men through from the workplace to a weekend gathering.

We’d go as far as to say an unconstructed jacket is a wardrobe essential, especially for the versatility it can provide. Here we’re looking at this wonderful jacket and how to wear it:

What is an unconstructed jacket?

An unconstructed jacket can be described like a shirt jacket or blazer. It retains the shape and hallmarks of more formal dress, but does not have shoulder pads, canvas or possibly even an inter-lining. (Some versions have no lining, or just a partial lining to allow for pockets).

Some other common features of the unconstructed jacket might include patch pockets, exposed seams and working cuffs.

The unconstructed jacket is often more like a medium or heavy-weight shirt, however it is cut like a jacket with vents, lapels and pockets. The goal is to be lighter in weight and have an artful casualness and elegance. The shape is more soft and loose, but this type of construction needs to be well-tailored and accessorized.

You will find unconstructed jackets in different wools, knits, linens or blended combinations. In fact, they have become a popular staple for men’s wardrobes.

An unconstructed jacket is one of the most versatile wardrobe pieces Click To Tweet

When to wear an unconstructed jacket

As we mentioned, one thing we love about this jacket is its versatility; that said, let’s start with when NOT to wear it. The answer is quite simple – in any workplace or on any occasion when the dress code is formal, an unconstructed jacket is not appropriate. It doesn’t have the padding, lining and stiffer lines that are expected in formal situations.

However, the unconstructed jacket has gained acceptance in many workplaces where the dress code leans more toward business casual. Think spring or summer wear – these jackets are lightweight and very breathable.

If you’re someone who travels a lot, an unconstructed jacket may be your new best find. The breathability means they are very comfortable and the unconstructed nature makes them easy to fold or tuck away. If you choose a jacket made from wool or a wool blend, the natural stretch of the wool helps any creases to drop out. (It’s often as easy as hanging your jacket in a steamy bathroom).

In fact, the unconstructed jacket usually requires less care than a tailored suit jacket. It will often stand for being rolled into a suitcase, meaning you don’t have to travel with bulky garment bags.

When else is a great time to wear your unconstructed jacket? After work! You’ll see people sporting this jacket at weekend events or social gatherings in the evenings. It allows you to feel comfortable in both the business and leisure environments because you won’t be over or under-dressed. In fact, you can still coordinate a slick ensemble that wouldn’t be out of place in settings where a higher standard of dress is expected.

Fitting your unconstructed jacket

While the unconstructed jacket doesn’t have the tighter formality of your tailored suit jacket, it’s still important to get the fit right. In any outfit, the key to looking sharp is how it fits. A sack could look good on a person if it is tailored to fit!

With this in mind, if you’re purchasing an unconstructed jacket off the rack, it’s important to buy the right size. It should fit you close to your body, yet leave enough room for layering. For example, on a cold day, you might wear it on top of a fitted Merino cardigan over the top of a t-shirt for a stylish casual look.

Of course, the best option of all is to have your unconstructed jacket tailored to fit you. This is something we can help you with here at Family Britches! 

How to coordinate an unconstructed jacket

The best thing about an unconstructed jacket is its versatility for different sorts of outfits. You could compare it to chinos – it’s not out of place in a more formal setting, nor is it overdone if you’re meeting someone for coffee at the weekend.

We find that the newer silhouettes in trousers and shirts compliment this type of jacket well. For example, our Canali Kei Model Unlined Sport Coat ensemble will look sharp in any business casual setting. Add interest to your outfit by choosing a shirt with a modern pattern.

The above example features a slack in tropical wool, but you might also go with your regular dress trousers or some of the new stretch blends of trouser.

Your unconstructed jacket can be worn in a casual setting with shorts. For example, think about a weekend at the yacht club, pairing your jacket with chino shorts and a button-down shirt.

As another casualwear example, pair your unconstructed jacket with an upscale pair of jeans, a plain white t-shirt and some dress sneakers, boots or dress shoes. This is the sort of outfit that will look stylish for your weekend social outings.

While you can wear your jacket in less formal business settings, the look tends to be better without a tie. With this in mind, newer, trimmer fit shirts in performance fabrics, no-iron patterns or solids, linens and geometric patterns can coordinate well.

If you’re really unsure about how formally to dress for a situation, your unconstructed jacket is a great choice. In most cases, you won’t be over or under-dressed if you pair it with some tailored chinos and a button-down shirt. If you know the dress code is more on the casual side, something like a polo shirt can look sharp under your jacket.

In any situation, the unconstructed jacket can be the perfect replacement for a sweater, completing an outfit for the office or social events.

Final thoughts

The unconstructed jacket is a personal go-to for many on our team. The special thing about it is its versatility across a range of dress codes and situations. If you’re going from your business casual workplace to an event, this is the jacket that will see you through both.

Dress it up or down, roll it into your suitcase for travel and pair it with your jeans at the weekend. We recommend you get a good unconstructed jacket for your wardrobe – consider it an investment piece that will see you through many stylish ensembles.

On the list of potential men’s style icons, who springs to mind for you?

Is it the classics; James Dean, David Bowie, Marlon Brando… or, do you think of more recent icons such as Idris Elba, Zayn Malik or David Beckham? 

Most people lean toward one or two favorites because those people have a style that speaks to them. While many manage to somehow look “effortless”, the truth is that quite a bit of effort goes into choosing what they wear in the first place. (And of course, most of these guys have or had the benefit of a personal stylist!).

Here are some popular men’s style icons and our suggestions for getting the look:

#1. James Dean: Casual-cool

James Dean’s casual-cool and simple, elegant style represented rebellion for youth of the 1950s. He managed to look effortlessly stylish both on and off-screen and was immortalized for that style due to his untimely death at just 24 years-old.

There are a few, specific clothing items that are always associated with Dean, for example, the black, chunky-knit turtleneck sweater. He sat for an iconic photoshoot with Roy Schatt which was known as “The Torn Sweater.” These images endure today.

What would James Dean pair with that turtleneck? Another classic he wore is blue jeans. We’re not talking about the super-skinny styles often seen today, but more of a classic straight leg in a navy denim.  From our catalog, see the Alberto Washed Denim Slim Fit jeans, pictured below.

Of course, James Dean is also synonymous with the classic white t-shirt. This can also be paired with those jeans for a very simple, yet stylish look. Depending on your body type, a slimmer fit can be a very flattering style, achieving a smooth silhouette. For a true James Dean look, wear with black combat boots or Converse high-tops, like what he wore in Rebel Without a Cause. For a look that will work for many “business casual” offices, wear with your dress shoes.

In terms of outerwear, the bomber jacket worn in Rebel Without a Cause is probably his most infamous. A couple of years ago the jacket (yes, it’s actually red) passed in at auction when it didn’t meet the desired reserve.

This all adds up to a simple, yet casually cool ensemble. In terms of accessories, Dean kept them to a minimum. He could sometimes be seen off-set in a pair of round, tortoiseshell glasses or sunglasses in a classic style. 

To get the look, go for classic, clean-cut, tailored items. These pieces should easily mix and match and not look scruffy when put together. The majority of his clothing was quite plain, but the emphasis really was on good fit. This is what really takes an outfit to that “effortless” look.

#2. Idris Elba: Neutral classics

Idris Elba has been acting for at least 25 years, but over the last decade or so has been regularly featured among the most stylish men. One of his style strengths is that he has developed a true sense of style, rather than following the fleeting fashion trends.

If you look at his wardrobe for both casual or formal wear, he has something of a formula for sticking with flattering neutral colors. He also tends to opt for classic, well-fitted styles that will probably still be just as stylish a decade from now.

Elba’s outfits tend to be within a palette of black, grey, white and navy. He wears fitted t-shirts as well as henley shirts, with well-structured outerwear over the top. His trousers or jeans of choice tend to be slim-fitting. He adds interest to his outfits by wearing accessories such as flat caps, or shoes with patterns on them.

Whether out casually or at an event, Elba is often pictured with one item in-particular – a very good coat. It’s a fashion “secret” that many stylish people operate by – if you wear a nice, well-fitted coat, people often don’t notice what else you’re wearing! We would always suggest that you get your coat tailored for the best possible fit. An example from our collection is the Canali Sport Coat, pictured below.

Owning a good, tailored coat is a “secret” of stylish men Click To Tweet

#3. Daniel Craig: Suave sophistication

While James Bond is known to be a sophisticated kind of guy, the sixth actor to play him, Daniel Craig has become known as a style sophisticate in his own right. 

Of course, suits have to come immediately to mind. Daniel Craig knows how to pull off a stylish red carpet suit without going overboard. He tends to favor well-fitted greys or blacks, sometimes in solid colors and sometimes with a classic pinstripe (see the grey suit he wore to the Spectre premiere, pictured below. Note: the bottom button is undone as it should be!).

Craig tends to keep accessories to a minimum. You might see a well-placed pocket square or a tasteful watch, but he doesn’t add a lot of extra embellishments to a classic suit. His color schemes are simple and smart – like Idris Elba, he largely favors a neutral palette. Get the look from us with a Canali suit and custom tailoring.

When he’s not wearing suits, Daniel Craig is often seen out and about in a pair of relaxed jeans, a fitted t-shirt and an excellent jacket a-la James Dean. He often wears flat caps and is seen in many pictures wearing the same versatile pair of brown dress shoes. Craig has also been known to pull off cardigans well, keeping a masculine aesthetic and managing to avoid looking dowdy. Once again, the key to this is good fit.

#4. Rami Malek: Tailored with flair

Rami Malek has become well-known over the last few years, taking some iconic roles and winning the best actor Oscar for Bohemian Rhapsody in 2019. His look tends to be well-tailored, yet leaves room for individual flair with interesting patterns and statement pieces.

“Polished” is a good description of his predominant look offscreen, but you’ll see him throw in a velvet jacket or a shirt with a bold pattern. He tends to mix and match, sometimes going for bold separates while other times taking a more minimalist look in all-black or dark greys. Below you can see a small sampling of what we mean, taken from a Google image search.

You can get this look by teaming classically tailored trousers and jackets with a well-fitted, bold shirt. Malek is even known to pull off the “air tie” while still looking sharp at formal events.

Another leaf out of Malek’s book is to experiment with textures (without going overboard). For example, teaming a pair of dark grey wool trousers with a silk shirt. He pulls this look off by opting out of any accessories, including a belt.

Lastly, look at separates. This means having an outfit of trousers, jacket, dress shoes and a base layer. A great way to pull this off is to have three of those items providing a backdrop for a standout piece. For example, you might team a tailored, patterned jacket with black shirt, trousers and shoes.

• 

• 

• 

Final thoughts

The men’s style icons we’ve shown here represent a range of style preferences, but they tend to have one thing in common – a focus on good fit.

This characteristic is really what can take any outfit from ordinary to fashion forward. If there’s one thing we would say to men who want to make an effort, it’s to pay attention to fit. Even if you can’t get everything tailored to fit you and color coordination, make good choices with the things you do buy. There is often a tendency for men to buy clothing that is too big.

Take inspiration from these style icons, but experiment to find your own sense of style.

                                              

Teleria Zed is the rediscovery of ancient Italian craftsmanship in the production of jeans, combined with research and innovation in manufacturing. The secret starts with the balance that results from a combination of fabric sourcing and accessories, a care to fit, the study of continuous treatment and an obsession to detail.

The result is a finished garment with a distinct identity. A garment with a soul that is in tune with the wearer.

The Details:

Waistband – Hand assembled waistband, handmade internal waistband.

Threads – High tenacity threads and seams

Buttons – reinforced button flap ribbon and cross sewn buttons for strength.

Seams – open trimmed.

Frog – Hand made frog.

Rivets – hand assembled.

Are there certain “rules” you should be following when it comes to men’s fashion?

Yes and no, from our perspective. Seasons come and go in the world of fashion and honestly, if we were all rigidly sticking to the same rules, we’d probably still insist upon “dressing for dinner” in a tuxedo every evening.

That said, we get a lot of questions about men’s clothing and how to wear it, so here we’re answering some of the most frequent:

#1. How many buttons should I have on my jacket?

People often wonder how many buttons they should have on their jacket and which ones to fasten – some or all of them?

To start with, wear the jacket that you are most comfortable in, whether that is one, two or three buttons. We generally recommend the two-button as this tends to be flattering on most people.

It might sound like an overly fussy rule, but yes there are certain norms for buttoning suit jackets and no, you don’t button all buttons on two or three-button jackets. (One-button jackets should always be fastened when standing.)

Interestingly, the trend for leaving the bottom button undone on the classic two-button jacket originated with Edward VII. The King was overweight and had trouble buttoning the lower button, so left it undone. This caught on with his subjects and has been a rule ever since. Both two-button and three-button jackets have a “never button” rule for that bottom button. Except for sportscasters on TV who listen to a higher authority despite what they look like.

When sitting down, it is recommended that you undo the buttons on two or three-button jackets. This helps to avoid creases.

#2. What colors should I choose for business wear?

This is a great question and we can see why people get confused! There are a lot of different colors and patterns that come and go in suiting, and with dress codes often leaning toward being more relaxed, you might wonder if that green suit is really okay…

Honestly, if you’re in any sort of business environment where a certain level of decorum is expected, we would stick with the classics. Most often, navy and grey are the more prevalent choices for suiting, but different shades of blue and grey have become acceptable in the less structured business environment. If you are unsure or want a “safe” choice though, stick with navy or grey.

The color you choose for yourself should be a good match for your facial and hair coloring. This doesn’t mean “grey suits for grey hair,” but that you should look to coordinate your accessories with the best shades for you. The key is accentuating what looks best on you – what colors won’t wash you out but rather accentuate the positives.

“Classic” colors for business suiting are navy and grey Click To Tweet

#3. How do I choose the right tie?

The right tie for your outfit depends on the latitude you are comfortable taking in coordinating your accessories. White and light blue shirts allow you the most flexibility.

Ties should express your personality. There are no more limits on putting check shirts with striped ties for example. Just make sure the colors all coordinate well. If the suit has a subtle added color, bring that out in your shirt and/or tie.

Today, the old rules no longer apply. You can mix patterns and colors as never before, depending on the business environment you are entering. Shoes, belts and other accessories should also match.

There are two main tie sizes to know about: the standard (3.5”) and the skinny (2.75”). If you want a classic look that doesn’t tend to change, go for the standard size. Skinny ties are trendier.

In terms of materials, a good quality silk is one of the best.

For added flair, you can choose to wear a tie in more casual environments too. Dressing down doesn’t mean not being well-coordinated and well-dressed.

#4. How long should my trousers be?

There’s a fine line when it comes to trouser length – literally within an inch or two. When your pants are too long they bunch at the bottom, look sloppy and you run the risk of damaging the hem by scraping as you walk. When they’re too short, you can look like a growing school boy!

The point at which your trousers touch your shoes is known as the “trouser break.” There are three basic ways to look at the trouser break, each flattering men of different proportions:

1. No break. This means the trousers just barely rest on top of the shoes. This length tends to suit shorter men better because it avoids cutting height off at the ankles. It’s also the preference of men who like a straight, starched presentation.
2. Medium break. This is the traditional standard for dress trousers. The hem of the trousers reaches the shoe and covers the highest point of the back of the shoe. This style tends to be suited to any situation or stature (so it can come down to a matter of preference).
3. Full break. The trouser hem has a fold that runs all the way around the leg. The cloth of the trousers rests firmly on top of the shoes and the opening of the shoe is hidden. This style is usually better on taller men or men going for a more casual look. (On taller men the extra folds appear smaller due to their longer legs).

#5. Should I wear a belt with a suit?

This question is debated with relative regularity among the sartorially-inclined. We feel that there are some times to wear one and some times not to…

When should you not wear a belt? Usually with a very formal suit such as a tuxedo. In fact, usually, tuxedo trousers don’t even have belt loops. We would also avoid a belt any time the emphasis is on sleek tailoring with emphasis away from your waistline.

Speaking of tailoring, another time to avoid a belt is as an accessory to hold up overly loose pants. This will only create a bunched up look in the middle (get those trousers fitted!).

Wear a belt when you’ve got your shirt tucked into a pair of dress trousers with visible belt loops. Of course, a belt serves a practical purpose if your suit is just a little loose (not “a lot” loose, as above!). Match your belt to your shoes for a classic look.

#6. Are tie clips still a thing?

Yes! If you like them, then wear them. The universal rule is to wear the tie clip between the third and fourth buttons of your shirt.

Another thing to note is that it’s generally recommended you avoid other embellishments such as pocket squares if you’re going to wear a tie clip. You can ruin your tailored look by overdoing the accessories.

#7. Are jeans acceptable for business casual wear?

That’s a solid “maybe!” We’ve written about what business casual means previously and have found that overall, the definition is very open to the interpretation of the business and people in question.

That said, if you don’t know whether jeans are acceptable as business casual attire in your workplace, the best thing to do is to ask. (And owners or managers, it’s up to them to define what you mean by “business casual” and ensure that your employees understand!).

In many workplaces now, it’s not uncommon for the regular dress code to involve jeans with a dress shirt and nice shoes. If you’re going to do jeans for work, wear a tidy pair that are well-fitted and in a dark wash. This helps to ensure that your look is stylish rather than sloppy!

#8. Is it okay not to wear socks with my suit?

Hmm, this is another question that can be hotly debated. You’ll see stylish men without socks in many fashion magazines or celebrity write-ups, and it really comes down to preference and the situation.

If you’re in a highly conservative profession, then the sight of your gleaming ankles might raise eyebrows. On the other hand, if it’s hot and if no one is really bothered, then maybe doing without socks is an option for you.

The right way to go without socks is not to go without them completely though. Your feet sweat and you can end up not only having an odorous pair of shoes, but you might damage them too. If you want the “no sock” look, buy some no-show or loafer socks. These will help to protect your shoes!

Final thoughts

There are many questions that frequently get tossed around when it comes to men’s fashion. While there are some “rules” that are worth observing, we’re also believers in doing what feels right for you.

It’s good to express your individual style and add your own stamp to things. Wear what is comfortable to you, but also be aware of what suits you.

Your tailor can help you to get the look you’d like.

Wool is one of the most versatile fabrics around.

Available in different weights, weaves, textures and from different breeds of sheep, the wool in our clothing can be found in both dress and casual forms.

A key thing to know about wool is that you can seek out different types for different desired properties. For example, you might use different wool blends for warmth and to stay cool.

Here’s what you should know about wool in men’s clothing:

Benefits of wool

Wool has many useful properties that produce excellent benefits for clothing. Here are just a few:

1. Wool is very breathable. The breathable qualities of wool make it a great choice for outerwear and base layers in all types of weather. The crimped wool fibers help to create insulating air spaces that retain heat in cold conditions. At the same time, if temperatures warm up the breathability helps to keep people cool.
2. Wool wicks moisture. This is especially important in weather where you need to stay warm. For example, cotton will absorb moisture and tend to stay wet, making you feel cold, but as wool wicks the moisture away from the body, it allows perspiration to evaporate more quickly, keeping you warmer.
3. Wool is water-resistant. Wool fibers are hollow and have a flexible, water repellent exterior. It can absorb up to 30% of its weight in water vapor without becoming damp. You don’t want to stand in a downpour, but it will protect you in mildly damp conditions.
4. Wool is durable. It is naturally resistant to wrinkling and static and can be a hardy choice of fabric. Wool retains its shape when stretched and will not melt if exposed to harsh heat. It also has much less tendency to retain any odor than fabrics such as cotton or polyester. 

Wool is one of the hardiest, yet most breathable fabrics to wear Click To Tweet

Grades of wool

The first thing to know is that there are different grades of wool used for different types of clothing. A luxury suit, for example, will be made from fine-quality wool, with a finish that is softer to the touch. Medium-quality wool may be used for garments such as heavier sport coats or sweaters – it won’t be as smooth to touch. Course-quality wool may be used for boot liners, top coats or heavy blankets. 

Virgin wool

Wool is selected not just in terms of course-to-fine quality, but in grades as well. Virgin wool (or lambswool) is taken from the young sheep at its first shearing, at around seven months old. This type of wool is very soft, smooth and elastic. It spins easily and has a silky quality that is comfortable against the skin. Lambswool is hypoallergenic and resistant to dust mites, making it a good choice for fabrics used in bedding. (Note: sometimes unprocessed wool from an adult sheep is referred to as “virgin wool” too).

Super wool classifications

There are different classifications of “super wool” depending on the micron count of the fabric. More fibers per square inch mean a higher micron count and a finer, softer cloth. Super wool classifications go from Super 80s to Super 250s. The higher the number, the finer the wool – but higher can also mean less durable.

Shearling

Shearling is sheepskin or lambskin that has been tanned with the wool still on the hide. It is warm and soft and a popular choice for sheepskin boots, among other garments.

You can see an example from our women’s collection below – the Gimo’s Pony Hair Shearling coat:

Worsted wool

Worsted wool refers to a technique that has been used in Worstead, England since the eighteenth century. It involves spinning the fibers into a very compact, smoothly twisted yarn. The wool goes through a second combing process to remove any unwanted short fibers.

This process leaves long-staple fibers that are ideal for suiting and dress trousers. The fibers lay flat and resist wrinkling or creasing.

Tropical weight wool

Tropical weight wool is a light version of worsted wool, ideal for warmer weather clothing. It is two-ply, lightweight and breathable.

An example from our own collection is the Canali tropical wool trouser. These are an ideal weight for warmer weather, are very breathable and resistant to wrinkling. The wool construction also makes these a durable trouser, more so than cotton-based dress trousers.

Boiled wool

This is created by putting sheep’s wool through a washing process that turns it into a dense, water-resistant fabric. The texture of the fabric is similar to felt and it has good shape retention, like a woven fabric. You’ll find boiled wool used to make slippers, hats, scarves and other outerwear.

Types of wool

You will find different types of wool used in clothing, whether from different breeds of sheep or different animals altogether. Here are a few common examples:

• Merino wool – This comes from the Merino sheep, usually found in New Zealand or Australia. Merino wool is known for its shine, softness, breathability and excellent warmth to weight ratio. Merino fibers are very fine and smooth to wear. You’ll find merino used in a range of clothing, from underwear to luxury suits.
  Merino is measured in microns in terms of fineness too. The smaller the number, the softer and more expensive the wool. Regular merino is around 23 microns, while fine is at 18 microns. You can then get super-fine at 16 microns and ultra-fine at less than 15.5 microns.
• Shetland wool – This is produced in the Shetland Islands off the northern coast of Scotland and is known for its warmth and softness. It tends to be used for high-end knitwear and sport coats.
• Melton wool – This is thick and smooth, producing very solid cloth due to the finishing processes used. Melton wool is known for being wind and water-resistant and is a popular choice for heavy outerwear, although thinner weights may be used for sweaters or socks. Some outerwear may be treated to be extra water-repellant.
• Mohair wool – This comes from the Angora goat (not to be confused with “Angora wool” which comes from a rabbit). Mohair is known for being silky, strong, breathable and lightweight. It is often used in high-quality suiting.
• Alpaca wool – This is soft and durable, known for warm, silky and lightweight garments. You may find alpaca wool used for luxury suiting, too.
• Cashmere wool – This luxury wool comes from the Kashmir goat and is known for its very soft fiber. Clothing is warm and lightweight, although less durable than sheep’s wool. The wool naturally adjusts to humidity, making it adaptable for different climates.
  An example from our collection is shown below; the Patrick Assaraf 100% Cashmere sweater:

Our wool tips

We love wool as a mid-layer for warmth, comfort and freedom of movement. A cashmere or merino sweater can be a fashionable complement to wool flannel or wool twill trousers and a wool sport coat.

You’ll often find wool blended with other fibers (sometimes to create a cheaper version of a sweater, for example). However, nothing is as durable, warm and comfortable on a cold day as a pure wool trouser, sweater or jacket. By investing in the higher quality wool garments, you’ll usually find that your clothing lasts longer and works out to be a better value than a cheaper blend.

Lastly, take care of your wool garments by following the instructions provided by the maker! Not all wool is “handwash only” these days, but you still have to be careful about water temperature and drying instructions. You can expect that if you buy good quality wool and care for it according to the label, it should last you a long time to come.

Are you getting ready for a first date?

This can be understandably nerve-wracking! Where should you go? What should you do? What should you wear? And if you’ve been out of the dating game for a while, how does dating work in this day and age?

Phew, it’s a lot to take in and one thing we will say is don’t be nervous! Whatever happens, will happen, and we’re great proponents of “if it’s meant to be, it will be.”

That said, we think a first date is a great opportunity to put yourself out there and meet someone new – whether that be a friend or something more. There’s no harm in doing a little preparation, in fact, that’s good practice!

Here are some of our tips for preparing yourself:

Modern dating etiquette

With dating apps and swiping right, it can be a confusing minefield to understand dating etiquette. The good news is, while some things have evolved, the very basics remain the same. For example:

1. Be authentic! There’s no sense in pretending to be someone you’re not in an effort to impress someone. Represent yourself honestly for the chance of building a genuine connection with someone.
2. Show up on time. Being late communicates that someone isn’t a priority to you.
3. Take pride in your appearance. Be dressed nicely and well-groomed!
4. Ask about any preferences or food allergies. There’s no sense in booking the cool new sushi restaurant if your date is allergic to seafood.
5. Make sure you have cash in your wallet. It’s not that the man always has to pay for everything anymore (you might choose to split the bill, or whoever suggested the date pays), but having cash is important in case of things like cards not working or some kind of outage meaning cards can’t be used. Having cash can save you from an awkward situation…
6. Be courteous. Manners never go out of style!
7. Practice being a good listener! A common mistake that some people make is to be so busy trying to impress their date with their knowledge/wit/prowess/importance that they don’t really listen. This means letting your date finish before chiming in and making sure you really understood. For example, you might paraphrase what they just said or ask clarifying questions.

There are a few more things to add here of course. One is that if there’s someone you’re interested in, approach them! Life is too short for any sort of gamesmanship – strike up a conversation and see where it takes you.

Another important consideration for the modern era is the ubiquitous mobile phone. There are so many tales of people ignoring each other to bury their faces in their phones that not picking up the phone during a meal has become a popular challenge.

We have a couple of suggestions here. Firstly, don’t pick up your phone unless you know it may be urgent (for example, someone close to you is in hospital, or someone is calling who wouldn’t call unless it was urgent). Even then, it is good manners to explain that to your date – you’re not pausing to chitchat, you’re dealing with something important.

Secondly, put your phone on silent so that you’re not tempted to check every buzz and beep. Give your date your full attention – being distracted by your phone for non-urgent reasons is just rude.

On a first date? Good manners are never out of style Click To Tweet

Make considered plans

It’s important to make considered plans for a first date. The aim should be to get to know someone in a setting where both of you will be comfortable. This means that it’s generally best to pick a neutral, low-pressure sort of place.

For this reason, places with a casual vibe, like a hip local café or a new brew pub can be a good choice. If the situation feels uncomfortable, it doesn’t have to last long in those places, whereas at a fine dining restaurant you may be awkwardly stuck through the next three courses.

To be extra-prepared, if you’ve got somewhere in-mind, check it out ahead of time to see what the atmosphere is like. Buzzing with people can be good, but you don’t want the noise levels so loud that you won’t hear one another.

If you’re often nervous or have social anxiety, it can be helpful to think of some good conversation starters before your date. Studies show that women in particular rate cheesy pick-up lines and empty compliments poorly, whereas someone who sparks interesting conversations can show they are intelligent and genuinely curious.

Importantly, be in the right mindset for your date. If you’re filled with self-doubt, that tends to show up and cloud your time. Practicing “self-compassion” has been shown to improve the outlook of your date. This means that instead of focusing on past dating experiences that didn’t go well, you acknowledge that frustration over dating is part of the shared human experience. The nervousness or fear you feel ahead of a date isn’t a sign that something is wrong with you, but is a common response among many people. You go into your date with the hopes of it going well and having fun.

Dressing for your date

We’ve had many gentlemen in, shopping for first date outfits. There always seems to be a mixture of nervousness and excitement. One thing we suggest is to be cognizant that you may sweat. Meeting someone new can be nerve-wracking and induce sweating, so it’s important to be mindful of this when you pick your outfit.

For example, you don’t want to wear a shirt that will show your nervous sweat stains around the armpits. Try a moisture-wicking shirt instead – there are both dress shirts and casual shirts that meet this description. Something in navy blue or even a bold print will also tend to work to hide sweat. We are currently preparing a Spring Collection of shirt styles that will update your wardrobe in fit, patterns and fabric, including moisture-wicking options.

A second thing we always suggest is to wear something that is both comfortable and appropriate for the date activity. If you’re going bowling, wear a nice casual shirt that you’ll be comfortable playing in. If you’re going to a nice restaurant, choose an outfit that you feel fits in well with the setting.

Third, think about fit. Don’t try squeezing into those trousers that barely fit anymore – this could be a recipe for an embarrassing incident! Wear clothes that fit you well without being too tight or too loose.

Importantly, wear something that speaks to your own style! If you enjoy wearing an eccentric Paul Smith flower shirt, wear that! If you are more into Peter Millar, go for it because if you’re comfortable in what you wear, you will be comfortable with yourself on the date.

Here are some outfit suggestions below:

Final thoughts

Clean, tidy and well-groomed are always the right choices when it comes to a first date. Pay attention to the cleanliness of your shoes and overall tidiness of your clothes. Use a lint roller to remove stray fluff, replace any missing buttons and trim loose threads.

Of course, if you want to look extra-smart, go for a tailored outfit! Made to fit is always a flattering choice. We at Family Britches are happy to help!

Making Headway Foundation: Acts of Kindness Everyday

Making Headway Foundation is a non-profit organization dedicated to the care and comfort for children with brain and spinal cord tumors, while funding medical research geared to better treatments and a cure. Based in Chappaqua, Making Headway was founded over 20 years ago by a local residents Edward and Maya Manley.